Aggressiveness, today, seems to be the key to having it all as a woman, but is it really the answer to all? Just like anything else, aggressiveness has it’s perspective and yes, it can create a positive and successful environment, when applied at the right times.
It began as a beautiful thing when women started to realize that they had the ability to take control of their lives and make things happen. Such aggressiveness has brought on success in many different arenas for alot of women and the motivation behind it was simply the belief she had in herself that she could be anything she wanted to be. But somewhere down the line, that motivation of belief seems to have changed into a motivation of fear and has now caused aggressiveness to take on a whole new meaning. Women are now learning the reason they need to be aggressive is so that they don’t miss out, so they can get that man before sista girl does, and so they can have more than the average woman.
However, what we must realize is that the combination of fear and aggressiveness can completely destroy the real beauty of a woman. Haven’t we all heard the stories? Also, anyone who has found success because of their ability to be aggressive knows very well that the favorable results of being aggressive often times lead to a desire to want more. Yes, it is human nature to desire more once we’ve reached a certain level, especially if we struggled to reach. Unfortunately, as women, many have taken that desire and aggressiveness into the already complex arena called relationships.
Not only are women now taught to be aggressive in relationships, we’re also taught to be fearful of what will happen or not happen when we’re not aggressive. And the fear of being alone has completely taken it all over the top. Even some men have taken it upon themselves to make women believe they better ‘go for theirs’ if they really want it and don’t want to be alone, because if they don’t, somebody else will. So now because of all the fear that has been implanted in the minds of women by some men and even other women, including some mothers, big sisters, highly active & other insecure women, the circus is in full effect. Women are dropping numbers to men who’s names they don’t even know yet. Women are making all the dating decisions, planning all the trips, dropping hints about the best dates to propose, and even engaging in taboo sexual activity and experiments that they know they’ve been taught better about.
It is especially disheartening to see the younger sisters who have never known how to be any other woman than the aggressive one. Often times she has learned this from the older woman who is always seen running down any and every man out of fear that she’s getting older and must have a man. Alot of the younger generations of young ladies have never learned that it is she who has the prize, and it is she who should be sought. The times of the aggressive woman has even created the softer man, who no longer even desires to search out his wife, but instead prefers to sit back and wait for the women to tackle. He knows they are sure to come, so why not sit back and enjoy? But beware of the man who prefers the aggressive woman. Often times, he has a need, perhaps of a mother figure. But there’s a fine line between the encouraging wife and the mother figure. And what both men and women must understand clearly is that no matter how much encouragement a man might need, no man wants to have a mother for a lover. Know where to the draw the line. Allow a man to be a man and make his own decisions, even the decision to be with you, because grooming a man is like grooming child. You’re only preparing him for what’s to come.
Especially in the arena of relationships, I encourage every woman to explore and clarify whether she’s operating in aggressiveness or in the fear of not being aggressive enough. Yes, be aggressive, when it comes to taking care of business, getting educated, raising your children, making a difference in your immediate environment and even in the world. Be aggressive in keeping up your own self-esteem so that no man or woman can make you feel inferior to the woman who has no boundaries. These are the ways in which aggressiveness can make a difference, even in your relationships.
The aggressive woman can make many things happen but it is the fearful one who changes the meaning of aggressiveness altogether. Which one are you?
Regards,
Tawana
